Independent Me 101

Independent Living 101

I’ve been sailing through the waves of independent living since last year. Friends and colleagues have been very supportive; they listened, shared and taught me golden values that will last through my lifetime. In a nutshell, I’ve learned a lot from these 4 important aspects of life: physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually. This blog comes in a series which tells of my journey as an independent woman and I hope you guys can bear with me.

First Series: Growing Up

The Black Bowl
One of the things I learned is cooking. Yes, I do cook, but I am more of a passion eater. (My friend Flora asked me that last night). But before I learned how to cook, I went through a lot of “food experimentation” and “first-time tastes”. I love eating Caldereta-flavored tuna (that made the can opener my best friend), which serves as a rice bowl topping for me. I was completely “addicted” to flavored juice and iced tea (Tang Fruit Teaz, super thanks for the yummy flavors), which I religiously stack in our fridge. The staple Lucky Me Chili-Mansi Pancit Canton and Shomen Chicken Cup Noodles also served as my food friends. I also had to do-away with soda and junk food, which I think was also good for me. However, I came to realize that I was just taking in not-so-healthy food and that, it was about time for me to learn how to do simple and quick dishes.

Having been born to a family of good cooks wasn’t easy, and I can see how I’ve become a “bouncing baby girl”! The whole cooking thing wasn’t easy at first, especially when one doesn’t have a stove for cooking, and with the mere fact that I was born to be an eater. I started by eating whole wheat sandwiches- with tuna, luncheon meat, egg or liver spread as fillings. However, I started to have a hard time “moving”, maybe because of the dryness of the food I was taking in. It was then I decided to buy an electric stove. It was kinda costly (aside from the 1000W it consumes!), but it was just the first step of eating the good way. With a little help from my electric stove, which I used to share with Vanessa, my roommate- I learned to cook odd dishes to not-so-odd dishes (improving!)

I develop this love for experimenting veggies and meat. Ever tried eating stir-fried sayote and carrots with shrimp, chicken and pork? It was yummy! How can we ever thank Magic Sarap granules for making our dishes more scrumptious? This also reminds me of my late-night dinner over homemade pasta, (Triggy style), which I shared with housemates from House A, which I’m a part of right now. Our Ilonggo version of Chicken-Pork Adobo was also a staple food and Pinamalhan na Bangus, which I will be sharing later.

The whole cooking thing is actually exciting, and I developed another hobby: doing the grocery. I love listing down things I need in the kitchen, from the spices to pasta noodles sold by the kilo (thanks to to Moonwalk Wet Market, dry goods and veggies were not that pricey). Sunday was a “Lutong Bahay” day for us. With also some insights and recipe sharing from Mylene and Flora, it was like taking a crash course on Cooking 101.

Food budget? Well, I admit almost 25-30% of my salary goes to food alone. Not bad, but of course, if there’s a way of trimming it to like 15-20%, it would be better. I simply can’t do away with other stuff like Skyflakes crackers, Lipton Berries Tea, 3kilos of Sinandomeng Rice (Thanks to Cagayan Rice), a pack of Sugar-Free Chips Delight cookies, a box of Selecta Fortified Low-Fat Milk and Oishi Choco Flakes. This is heaven for me.
The Works:
Ilonggo Chicken – Pork Adobo

This delineates our way of cooking adobo from the Tagalog – style, which is toyo-based. This dish uses atsuete and laurel leaves, which leaves a distinct color and flavor to one of Pinoy’s delicacy.

Ingredients:
½ k. pork, adobo cut (Ilonggos prefer more taba cut)
½ k. chicken (breast or thigh)
½ cup atsuete seeds, diluted in chicken-pork stock
½ cup chopped garlic
A pack of laurel leaves (5-6 pieces)
3 tablespoons vinegar
Salt and sugar to taste

Procedure:
Boil pork in a kawali. Simmer for 10 minutes or until tender. Add in chicken, chopped garlic and atsuete extract. (Tip: add ice cubes to make pork tender fast.) Add laurel leaves and vinegar and season with salt and sugar to taste. Simmer until the broth dries up, and the chicken-pork is sautéed in its own oil.

Optional: After cooking this dish, you may cook Java rice from what was left in the kawali. Just add your cooked rice and make sudsud until it becomes yellowish in color. Don’t forget your garlic bits on top! This dish is perfect with uga or tuyo and a glass of Coke (straight from the sari-sari store, bottled version) filled with ice. Yummy!

Pinamalhan na Bangus

I was quite confused with pinaksiw and pinamalhan. Pinaksiw is the one which is vinegar and water based, while pinamalhan is more vinegar based than water, and is drier in consistency than pinaksiw.

Ingredients:
Bangus, paksiw cut (an average-sized bangus is usually 4-5 slices)
½ cup vinegar
¼ cup water
¼ cup chopped garlic
2 pcs. Siling haba
Cooking oil
Salt, ground pepper and vetsin to taste

Procedure:
Mix vinegar and water in a casserole. Add bangus and chopped garlic. Put on low fire for 5 minutes. Add Siling haba and season with salt, ground pepper and vetsin to taste. Simmer for 5 minutes and add oil when the water-vinegar mixture is dried up.

Optional: Okra or ampalaya can be added to give it a more tangy and bittery taste.

a Christmas letter

Dear Mom,

It's a cloudy day and I'm in a soulful mood as I write this letter. Days pass by so fast and before we know it, Christmas is here. It's the time when people from far places look forward to see their loved ones once again, and share little blessings to everyone back home. How I wish I also had that kind of feeling, but no matter how happy and contented I am with my present life, I can feel that something is still missing.

Yes, I have heard of what has been happening with you back there. I have seen you and dad in my dreams, too. The only best thing I can do is to pray for you, hoping to bring back the old days I've seen you smile and love each other. My heart bleeds everytime I imagine you guys fight, and your own children giving up on you. I wanted to picture out an old couple relaxing and enjoy seeing their grandchildren grow and living in contentment and a stress-free life. But I guess fate has been too tricky to give you this kind of life. Remember what you shared to me last Christmas? Somehow, I think you have a point. All your sufferings will come to an end, only if you surrender everything to Him. You can look at Him and say, "Yes, I have fulfilled my duty as a wife and mother. I did not fail the vow I made on the day I was married." And I agree. You've been a good wife and mother to your children - and even much against your will, to me. Your patience and great love has been felt by everyone in so many ways we can't imagine. Your 'pangakigs and pagsaways' - name it all, has helped me become a better person. I've been used to that Mom, and I love you for that.

I may have done things which weren't morally right, but I believe that there's still something in store for me. I have been patient enough to wait for the perfect time to open the present, knowing God has a perfect plan for me. I also continue to pray for you, that He may be able to give you the strength and patience you need. As for dad, I hope it's never too late for him to realize the importance of being loveed unconditionally.

I want you to enjoy Christmas without me. Take time to relax and be with your children and grandchildren. As for me, I have to find myself and start picking up the broken pieces of my life. I've sent something of minimal value for you to spend. May peace reign in our hearts and have a blessed Christmas.

With much love from your husband's daughter.

Happiness or Peace?

Happiness is indeed a very subjective thing. We get to do crazy things when we're happy. It gives us a moment of bliss that sometimes we forget who we really are. Or it can also show the whole world who we really are. Happiness and peace are thought of as parallel to each other, when actually they're not. I am certainly in the right mood to jot down my thoughts due to PMS mood swings. When a person is at peace, it gives him/her a positive outlook in life and enjoys life as it is. The word complicated does not exist to a peaceful person, for he/she is truly in his/her right state of mind while doing or making decisions for his/her betterment. He/she also sleeps well at night, not thinking about what other people might say about him/her. And lastly, a peaceful person is wary of the things that he/she says, and would rather do the 'walking than talking'. Now, what does this have to do with happiness? A happy person can wear the most beautiful, eye-catching mask to conceal himself/herself from the realities of life. True, that person may be the life of the party, has the most records to beat, may have the most number of friends from the social community networks, but does that really make a connection to his/her true being? A happy person can make other people happy, contradictory to the state in where he/she is in. Being happy sometimes gives us a feeling of guilt especially when we know that somebody is in much deeper pain for being at the lower part of the wheel. Happiness is a choice, but more often than not, has its consequences. So, which way are you? To happiness? Or peace? Think twice!

mesmerized, sun-kissed, dusky and in tears

Life itself has its ironies - and love as well. The frustrations? finding the PERFECT LOVE at the WRONG TIME; finding the PERFECT PERSON, but that person DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME WAY as you do; finding the PERFECT ONE, but you must remain LOYAL TO SOMEBODY; having the PERFECT LOOKS, but no one takes you SERIOUSLY; knowing someone with the PERFECT PERSONALITY, but ur bound to be JUST FRIENDS; you got the BRAINS, but got a FRAIL HEART; finding the COURAGE to fight for it, but TOO LATE and you've got SO MUCH LOVE to give, but you don't know WHERE TO START. :(
Out of these realizations, which one hit me the most? The past days gave me mixed emotions and sleepless nights. Guilt, anxiety combined with giddiness and the like which I can't explain. The reason? A person from my past whom I didn't expect to make such an impact in my whole being popped out of nowhere. I was blinded and mesmerized by this total stranger, whom I thought would sweep me off my feet.
We met a few years back in college, sparing the 10 year gap. I enjoy the thrill of being "babied", and the way he would submit to my brattiness. He unfolded the real world right before my eyes, which I never experienced with the more significant men in my life. That thrill, however didn't last that long for the fact that it's really not meant to be. I couldn't contain the feeling of taking the back seat all the time, and I don't want to settle for second best.
After college, we've been seeing each other still, but not in a regular basis for obvious reasons. We continued hanging out together discreetly and the like. After I decided to go somewhere else for work, I never heard about him. The last time we met was two years ago (if I'm not mistaken), and what was that? An hour or two of bliss. After that? Gone.
Now, 2 years have passed and an unexpected thing happened. I came across him through YM, and I allowed my heart to be unguarded again. We both missed the old times and the good company we shared. And all of a sudden, my heart fluitterd when he asked if given the right circumstances, would I have liked him? I never answered right away for the fear of being laughed at but instead, throwed the question back to him. His reply? A big YES, but again, it REALLY wasn't meant to be. That question gave me so much hope and that's when the giddiness sank in.
The succeeding days gave me a different kind of excitement. God truly blessed me with friends who were there to pray for me; to get out of that situation before things get worse. True, I took their advice seriously, but I guess not by heart. I've been transformed into a self-seeking individual who is head-over-heels-in-love-slash-like with that guy who isn't that "likeable" at all. He is the ONLY exemption to my Buddha-like rule. Then again, I was blinded with the reality. I felt I was sun-kissed, with him, being my sun who brightens up my blue days.
After 2 weeks, the NIGHT has come. I begged off from Service for the reason, "Boylet muna bago Bayan". It was actually a last minute decision, and O'm blessed again to have 2 angels who tagged along. In our most decent-looking outfit, we headed to the central part of Manila. Of course, I really wanted to look at my best, so I was quite conscious the whole time. When we arrived, we found out that he was still in the meeting in preparation for an 18-day training in the Land of the Cherry Blossoms.
It took us quite sometime at the restaurant before finally meeting up with him. My friends and I had our share of tummyaches caused by the Laughing Gas. I knew a lot about him, and what made me like him more was his wit and charism. Of course, not to forget our entwined fingers and locked hands under the table. Sigh! It gave me a moment of bliss, as if my world stopped. We agreed to see each other as soon as he gets back. That was truly an enchanting night, and not realizing of what things will come my way.
A day before hos scheduled arrival, things were falling in its right place and I've seen the reality right before my eyes. With my techie skills intended for stalking, I was able to view the social network page of the ONE. Tears dripped like raindrops as I browsed through the pictures one by one. I couldn't help but feel sorry for allowing myself to be in this situation. With a little help from my friend, 2 bottles of SML, 2 sticks of pork barbecue and a platter of hungarian sausage with fries, I cried out my sentiments and wishing all of these never happened. And I have finally decided to all it quits.
The next day, we texted and he told me that we can't make it because of some unavoidable reasons. I laid my cards, asking if we can just be plain friends because of guilt that I'm going through. He agreed to that and I was just glad to hear such from him.
The next four nights were like hell for me. I cried every night; hanging on for that moment that maybe - just maybe, things can still go my way. I kept my promise to God, and I truly surrendered him to Him. Yes, it was hard, but I believe that I deserve someone better- someone that I can call MINE. I also believe that this is all part of growing up. The pains that I've been to are essential tools for me to become a better person. I did not regret going through this, for I know Mr. Right will surely come in God's Perfect Time. He just gave me a moment of bliss and a lot of memories that are worth keeping.

Rainbow's World in Multiply

♥♥ the thrills of independence, coupled with a humble heart ♥♥

Dealing with the "youngest child syndrome" was quite hard. For the past 24 years of my existence, I never had a chance to experience how to live by ownself, fend for myself and basically, think about myself, and myself ALONE. And finally! I was given the green light to go and explore the real world- all by myself.

It wasn't that easy for me to make that decision. I listed the pro's and con's of living alone. I prayed, discerned, and asked for signs prior to what I've planned. Eventually, the signs were evident enough for me to make my stand. I was just SOOOO ecstatic- I have to drag along my friends to accompany me in buying my mattress, eating utensils, electric fan and the like. 2 weeks before my "scheduled voluntary eviction" (PBB ito), I was already transferring some of my stuff to my new palace (I'm a princess, remember?)

Now the day has finally come. My first night? Well, I went home quite late, for the fact that I have to buy my own fan or else I'll die of heat stroke. I had a hard time sleeping ) and the succeeding nights were simply blissful for me despite the warm weather. And the golden learnings? I learned how to fetch a pail of water (in a daily basis); I learned how to wake up early and think about what I'm going to eat in the next 3 meals; I learned the value of pakikisama; I learned how to do my laundry, and most importantly, I learned how to use my resources wisely. More golden learnings are yet to come, and I'm simply preparing for all of these.

Not everybody knows what I went through as I made my "graceful" exit (It was graceful for me, I don't know with others). But I simply thank God for giving me a humble heart to accept my faults and weaknesses. It may have resulted to my pierced heart, but there is no other way but to change and move on. I have been anticipating this to happen, and I prayed that if this day comes, I hope I am on my way to the right path. He truly gave me the desires of my heart, and even though I have grown in Spirit, it still won't be convincing enough for those I have hurt. So my stand? I don't want to be that assertive in convincing them; I'll just have to continue my mission (and to think I've got a lot of activities lined up!), for as long as I can prove to myself (not to anyone) that I made a 360○ towards renewal.

I thank God for giving me an imperfect family, whom I have grown with. I may not have experienced the kind of love that I wanted, but their imperfections truly taught me a lot. My earthly angels, who served as my second family, for their unending support and prayers, and for accepting me for who I am. Lastly, to My King, who witnessed how I stumbled, fall and stood up amidst all the trials He has given me. As a certified Princess of God, I am proud to say that I have my own story to tell, and He affirmed how special I am in spite of my weaknesses.

..I am God's very own Princess..

It has always been every little girl's dream to become a princess. The elegant dresses, embellished crown or tiara, matched with social grace and class. And not to forget, the dashing prince that would someday, sweep her off her feet. How about women my age? Well, we hate to admit it, but we somehow have this "little princess" inside us, waiting to have that feeling of being swept away or romanced.

This "little feeling" inside me awakened when I attended this year's SFC Women's Conference last April 27 at Miriam College. It was something we girls certainly look forward to. The theme basically is so "princessy"- THE PRINCESS DIARIES as what they call it. The pink kit where each princess gets, includes a personalized ID with matching hearts or floral lanyard, 3in1 coffee mix and our very own Princess Diary. The conference started with a Holy Eucharistic Celebration, followed by 4 meaningful talks, all inspired and simply made for us princesses.

It surely made a big impact on my part. I was able to feel how beautiful and captivating I am. It taught me how to accept the pains and failures that resulted to my pierced heart. Unknowingly, I learned about the 3 lies that attacks us when we are in our lowest point of our lives. I was able to renounce all these lies that I never thought existed, and I wholeheartedly allowed God to romance me in such a "princessy" manner.

I feel so blessed to have heard His message, as I meditated and communicated with Him peacefully. His words were, "You are my Precious One, My Princess. Follow what your guarded heart tells you, for soon you will receive the best gifts I have prepared for you. I am your King, your Father, and your Knight will soon claim you from me. I tell you, he will wipe off your tears, sweep you off your feet and will love you, just as how he loves me as Your Father. When you finally meet the destined Knight, you will have one of the greatest love stories ever told..I am always here for you, my beloved Princess."

The conference ended quite late, but hey! we got our very own crowns! :-) We are truly God's own princesses, and I'm proud to be one of them.